So Glad Holidays Are Over

Dear Susan,

All I can say is I’m glad the holidays are over.

I have not seen my grandson since my daughter severed all family ties three years ago. Ethan and I developed a strong bond, so when his mother cut me off I was devastated.

My stress level was so high that it took a toll not only on my emotional well- being but my physical health. I had not only lost my grandson but my daughter as well.

Food gave me comfort and soon became my drug of choice. Exercise is non- existent because I just don’t have the energy.

Needless to say, I got fat which made me even more depressed so instead of reducing my stress, I made it worse.

Please tell me what I can do to get out of this dark hole and start the new-year stress free.

Signed, Fatso Grandma

Dear FG,

If we don’t feel good about ourselves, then there isn’t much left, is there? You’re depressed about your situation, so you eat to self medicate and then you’re depressed because you’re overweight which zaps your energy, making you too tired to exercise. It’s a vicious circle.

The connection between emotional and physical health, is vital, yet emotional health frequently takes a back seat to physical problems.

A couple of suggestions: first, get some emotional support, either individual with a therapist or expert in the field or in a group setting such as, a grandparent visitation support group. Second, addresses your physical well-being. To quote “A Precious Bond”: “Part of health is exercise and it can be a saving grace when we are feeling low. In fact maybe that is the best time to get moving, when you least feel like it. There is nothing better than that endorphin high.” No excuses, join a walking group, recruit a buddy, load up your IPOD with whatever entertains and motivates you and schedule 30 minutes a day to walk. With so many choices, try them all Yoga, Zumba, Pilates but do something.

As stated in chapter 8 ‘Get On With Life’ from“ A Precious Bond”:

“ We love our grandchildren deeply and think about them everyday, but they are a part of our life and not our entire life. Anything or anyone in which we become attached, causes us to be powerless. Waiting is the lowest form of life’s participation. We know that someday we will be re-united with our grandchild, but we don’t know exactly when. For some it may be when they are eighteen or at least old enough to make their own decisions, but you can’t put your life on hold until then. This is about taking care of ourselves first.”